Wanda Baucus - Bitch, Bipolar, or Both?

Excuse the language. But how else do you describe a woman who gets this riled up over mulch? If you hadn't seen the story previously, here's a short news piece on it.

The long and short of it is that Wanda Baucus, wife of Senator Max, a Montana Democrat, assaulted a lady because she got her mulch from some store loaded first. No need to worry, however, because Wanda now proclaims to Reliable Source that "virtually everything that was printed is false," which sounds like an airtight defense to me. Plus, Max says that he "stand[s] by her 110 percent. And she has my full support." 110% and full support? Can't do much better than that. Nothing less than 125% and "fullest support" could top it.

I wouldn't be picking on Wanda so much if Reliable Source hadn't reliably dug up a bit of background on Mrs. Baucus. Check it out:

"We wanted to ask about her cameo in a 2002 book recommended by an alert reader: 'Ciao, America!' by Italian journalist Beppe Severgnini, who lived a few doors from the Baucuses on 34th Street in Georgetown. On Page 222, the author recalls this scene just before he moved back to Italy:

'The senator's wife is venturing out into the open again, and took the opportunity to yell at our removal van. ('Get away from there right now! I'm a senator's wife!')'

Yesterday, we asked Severgnini, a columnist for the Corriere della Sera newspaper, for details. 'She was really the sweetest person as a neighbor for so many months. She was very sweet,' he told us, 'but on the day we had the removal van, she went berserk. I thought it was very un-American, un-Washington, un-Democratic and in very bad taste. It was simply a removal van and she was really very aggressive, shouting, 'I'm a senator's wife!' It is printed in my memory . . . The van was not blocking the street, and we had very little furniture.'

This all happened in April 1995; Severgnini's book, based on his diaries, was a hit in Italy long before it was reprinted here. Baucus, 56, told us: 'I don't remember any such thing. I would never run out and say that I'm a senator's wife because I try to hide the fact all the time . . . I would never, ever, ever ask a moving van to move from in front of somebody's house. Why would I do that?'

Because you're a psycho, maybe. But ok, I'll believe that she doesn't remember. I'll even buy that she didn't yell at this guy. But I will not believe that she tries to hide the fact that she's a Senator's wife. As anyone who has lived in Washington DC will attest, that is simply too outrageous to be considered. There is no such behavior. It is impossible. Social status cannot be hidden or denied in Washington DC. It can only be grown, spread, and then harvested for special treatment. It is the Dupont Circle of Life.

To conclude:

"Severgnini was unaware that his old neighbor was facing an assault charge, but called it 'historical justice.' In fact, when we told him, he exclaimed: 'That's amazing! Ha! Ha! Life is funny.'"

Sure is, Beppe, sure is.